Kinda I Want To
"Kinda I Want To" is the sixth track on the 1989 release Pretty Hate Machine, and has ties to lust, though it's unclear exactly what the speaker wants to do or whom they want to do it with. Notably hard to write, Trent Reznor has always been very unsatisified with the song and thinks it's by far the worst song he's ever done. He has also stated it's the one song he will not play live anymore, though as with anything, this is subject to change.
The song references "Down In It" by quoting its beat and drum patch during the bridge.
Kinda I Want To
Beginning with what sounds like garbled cries, the sixth track on Pretty Hate Machine is perhaps the most solely beat driven song on the album, lacking a clear melody and utilizing a lot of samples and loops (similar to Year Zero). The middle section samples the drum beat, similar guitar work and some vocals from "Down In It". The distorted cries at the end segue directly into "Sin".
Kinda I Want To (Purest Feeling Version)
With a completely different arrangement and lead melody, less distorted audio samples and a much more upbeat feel, the Purest Feeling version of "Kinda I Want To" resembles early 80's house music more than its "breakbeat"-esque counterpart from Pretty Hate Machine. The lyrics are the same as the final version, but feature an additional bridge in the middle wherein Reznor repeats the line "Why does it have to be this way?" over and over, harmonizing with himself. The ending also features a rapidly strumming acoustic guitar, before the entire song fades into quiet synths.
Kinda I Want To (Demo)
This version is almost exactly like the Purest Feeling version in structure and sound, though it uses much simpler synths and percussion, no sampling and very little background. This is perhaps one of Reznor's earliest demos as Nine Inch Nails.
The song was only played live on the Pretty Hate Machine promotional tour and, according Reznor, is unlikely to be played again.
I can't shake this feeling from my head There's a devil sleeping in my bed He's watching you from across the way I cannot make this feeling go away I know it's not the right thing And I know it's not the good thing But kinda I want to I'm not sure of what I should do When everything I'm thinking of is you All of my excuses turn to lies Maybe God will cover up His eyes I know it's not the right thing And I know it's not the good thing But kinda I want to Kinda I want to Maybe just for tonight We can pretend it's all right What's the price I pay? I don't care what they say I want to I want to (I'll take my chance tonight)
The parenthetical portion of the last line appears only in the liner notes and the Purest Feeling version.
The first line in the second verse is changed in the final recording to be
When every thought I'm thinking of is you